Ready, Aim, Fire!

I mostly write Batboys.Prompts CLOSED.

Jul 24

protagonistically said: Ellie and I were talking about how Tim probably has a resting bitch face. To the point where people are always asking him, 'What happened?' or 'Are you okay??' and Tim becomes a Gotham meme. <3<3<3

Omg, yes.


And the media has so many pictures of him. Oh poor Timmy. I imagine an eye roll at a press-conference probably went viral, lmao.

Jul 22

Picture all the times Bruce and Dick have been working together silently in the Cave, or hanging out in the house, and Dick just bursts out “Okay Bruce, I give up, why are you giving me the silent treatment? What did I do?”

And Bruce being like “… silent treatment?”

Jul 21

Do You Want My Lunch-Money, Too, Or…?


(aka: It’s Almost Definitely A Trap.)

A sort-of sequel/companion piece to It’s Almost A Trap. Hearts is a terrible influence and should not be listened to.

Characters: Jason, Tim, mentions and brief appearances by a few others.

Read More

(via incogneat-oh)

Jul 18

Do You Want My Lunch-Money, Too, Or…?


(aka: It’s Almost Definitely A Trap.)

A sort-of sequel/companion piece to It’s Almost A Trap. Hearts is a terrible influence and should not be listened to.

Characters: Jason, Tim, mentions and brief appearances by a few others.

Read More

Jul 17

Do You Want My Lunch-Money, Too, Or…?

(aka: It’s Almost Definitely A Trap.)

A sort-of sequel/companion piece to It’s Almost A Trap. Hearts is a terrible influence and should not be listened to.

Characters: Jason, Tim, mentions and brief appearances by a few others.

Read More

Jul 16

just watched snowpiercer and it was one of the worst things i have ever seen in my life

i am emotionally scarred i swear

⚡ When Jason was a very new little Robin, he was really uncomfortable about affection from Bruce.

So Bruce would do this thing where he would kiss his own palm and then mush it in Jason’s face ’til they were both laughing.

Jul 15

incogneat-oh said: Sometimes I think Tim and Ives' first kiss was with each other. And it was on a dare when they were like, 11? 12? And it was stupid-awkward and really uncomfortable, and it is one of those things that Best Friends Never Talk About Again. Thoughts??



And I super like the idea that Tim teases Ives about it and he’s not embarrassed?  

Like, maybe right before he meets Ariana?  All he really knows is how much he likes Robin, you know?  And Robin’s a boy and Tim is a curious kid and he needs to figure this out, so obviously he asks his best friend.

And Ives is like, ‘Wwwwwhy, though?  Do I haaaaave to?’ and chatterbox, resilient, never-leaves-well-enough-alone Tim is like, “YES!  Remember that time I gave you the last piece of cake?  You owe me, Ives!’

So like Ives heaves a sigh and squeezes his eyes shut and fishlips Tim so that the two boys kiss for like a minute and Tim is just like, ‘…huh.’ Needs further analysis.

But Ives is like NO MORE.

So Tim rolls his eyes, so put upon, and ‘Fiiiiine.  You have fish lips anyways.’

And Ives honks like a goose, ‘I DO NOT.  COME HERE, TIMOTHY!’ and he lays a good one on Tim and they make out for like a second with way to much spit and they both have to wipe there mouths, but then they look at each other AND CRACK UP, because omg they just kissed each other like their parents EW.

But then later on, when Tim is back in school with Ives, in 8th or 9th grade when Tim meets Ari and he’s totally attracted to her in the way that 13 year old boys are and he’s like, ‘…huh.’

But then they all become friends and (I think Ives and Ari were super cute together) and Ari casually asks if she was her first kiss and Tim is like, SUPER SMUG AND PROUD, ropes his arm around Ives neck and is just like, ‘THIS HERE STUD WAS MY FIRST KISS.  AND IT WAS PHENOMENAL.’

And Ives is just DYING.  He’s SO RED IN THE FACE.  And Tim goes on -

'And in the second grade, Ives and me had a pact that when we're old and if we don't have wives, that we'll marry each other.'

Ives is just like SHUT UP TIM GOD.

And Tim is just grinning like, ‘Yeah, and then he gave me half his grape snow cone, which is like… a binding commitment.’

And Ives stomps away because OMG TIM.


-the end <3

Jul 12

Anonymous said: got any headcanons about the batboys and their sleeping habits? :)

Dick Grayson is the sprawliest, floppiest sleeper in the world. He sleeps on silk sheets and rolls around the whole night and he hugs his pillow and probably tries to hug his mattress, and, when he’s sleeping alone, it is about 50/50 whether or not he will wake up with his head at the correct end.

I think he has a habit of overworking himself, especially when it comes to proving something to Bruce, but he’s getting better at actually listening to his body when it needs sleep. (Barring a crisis, of course.) These days he’s at a point where he’ll sometimes sleep a couple hours before patrol if he needs it. He is a big believer in naps.

I think he sleeps late, but is actually a morning person too, so he goes directly from “no don’t wake me I’m asleep” to “what’s for breakfast how’d you sleep do you wanna go outside do you think I should get a haircut??” 

Dick’s also the second heaviest sleeper out of all the Bat dudes.


Jason Todd is probably the most responsible Bat in terms of getting the right amount of sleep. When he’s doing well, I think he probably gets 6+ hours a night. 

How he sleeps really depends on how he’s going, in terms of stress and nightmares and how much contact he has had with Bruce, Batman, or the Joker recently. During his bad times, depending on his nightmares, I think he’d go long stretches without sleeping out of fear and sheer stubbornness. But that happens pretty rarely, and I think these days Jason tries hard to take care of himself.

Once he’s asleep, Jason’ll pretty much stay put for the whole night. He doesn’t roll around too much, but he does avoid sleeping on his back. His pillow almost always ends up on the floor.

As a kid Jason was probably a really light sleeper, but I think these days he sleeps a little more heavily. For a Bat, that is.


Tim is really bad at sleeping when and where he’s supposed to. He probably gets, like, 0.5 hours a night and tries to tell himself that it’s enough. And while he can fall asleep pretty much anywhere, that skill is not as helpful as you’d think. (I bet Tim would get really tired of waking up cold and bewildered with full-body muscle-cramps.)

When he’s in a bed, he’d be a pretty restless sleeper, but probably starts off on either his stomach or curled on his side. But he’s definitely one of those people that flips their pillow all night to get the cool side.

He’s definitely, definitely not a morning person. Can’t form words, probably has a couple different burns from sleep-making himself a coffee. I think he’s a heavy sleeper in the mornings, but in the night he’d always wake up at any sound.

If there was an award for best/worst bedhead, Tim would win.


Damian’s a tough one. I think he was probably a very light, very, ah, efficient sleeper in the League. But now that he’s comfortable in the Manor and feels relatively safe there, I think how he looks at sleeping would change. I love the idea of him sleeping like a regular kid, face smushed into the bed, arms flung out on either side, maybe mumbling into the sheets. Probably kicking out every now and again.

He probably used to get up a few times a night to check on Bruce, and also the perimeter, but that would be happening less and less. Especially because Alfred probably makes sure to let Damian see him set the alarm at night. Plus, y’know, Titus. 

And it’s pretty clear that Damian is not a morning, day, or evening person. Waking him up will get you the same scowl that any other interaction will get you, just with the added bonus of pillow-creases and embarrassingly flat hair. 

I do think he’s still a very light sleeper, but that will probably change the longer he lives at the Manor.


Bruce is a giant baby who is in constant need of a nap. Legit though, he probably wouldn’t be grumpy any more if he just got a solid night’s sleep. He takes up literally his whole king bed when he sleeps and he resents anyone touching his blankets for any reason, yes, Alfred, including waking him up.

He sleeps very late into the day and his sheets probably have to smell like lavender or else he pouts.

He is (somewhat ironically) the heaviest sleeper of the bunch.

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